how he hurt me

It’s hard to find words that adequately explain what it feels like to be manipulated and intimidated by someone on a regular basis.  It’s the pattern of behaviors and words, more than just a single incident, which make it clearer.  I’ve read that it is good to write things down as they happen, that way you can…

Dear Dr. L. – what emotional abuse feels like..

This letter was written by my daughter – 18 – to the psychologist who didn’t believe her about the giant’s cruelty. The psychologist believed the giant’s lies.  My daughter bravely stood up for herself. Dr. L., I am writing to tell you that I will not be returning to you for counseling anymore, and I…

letter to a giant

A little girl is playing outside by herself.  She falls and gets hurt, a stick cutting her knee so that it starts to bleed.  “Mommy!  Mommy!”   She screams, calling for the motherly comfort she knows she will receive.  Her father runs out first and holds her comfortingly, but at the sight of her mother the…

The Pain Within My Eyes

The Pain Within My Eyes       I’ve been shattered, deep inside Broken beyond repair Am I crazy to have feelings Of heartbreak and despair?   I don’t know why he does this Does it satisfy his soul? The words he says, the things he does Can’t he see they take a toll?   I look…

“I understand”

Little one…  I understand. I know you have pain.      I am so sorry. I know you are hurting.      I am sure your feelings have been hurt. I know you feel empty inside. You have feelings, and they are real. You are a person.     Your feelings matter. Trust me as I say, this will not last…

fear

“N’ drew this picture in the midst of an especially fearful, painful time.  For six months, during the first part of our legal separation, the kids were forced to face on a daily basis, the reality that their dad was a giant.  They said he was cruel and frightening. To help express how they were feeling, they wrote…

“I feel your pain”

The emotional abuse we’ve suffered  feels almost worse sometimes, than physical abuse.  Words are powerful.  They play over and over in your mind and can’t be forgotten easily. The old rhyme that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you, isn’t true at all.  Words have been one of the most…

we’re listening

One of the most painful and frustrating things we’ve experienced through our trial is how few people really listen to kids.  There’s a lot of talk about the “best interest of the child” but the reality is almost no one seems to really care or demonstrate they believe this. Many of the people we met who…